Life's Thin Thread

It is indeed a tragedy that while life hangs literally by a thread for all Man, we would rather preach and talk about "happy" and "inspirational" things or give motivational self-help pep talks every Sunday. Rather than confront people with the Truth of God's Word, with their sinfulness and rebellion against God, we would instead endeavor to build up their self-esteem or soothe their wounded pride. We would rather give them painkillers instead of giving them the bitter medicine that saves.

"For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified." -1 Corinthians 2:2 (NKJV)

But while I may go on my usual tirade on the almost pathetic state of preaching in churches nowadays, I have decided instead to look at something just as sobering, if not more so.

One would have read in the newspapers today about two deaths that would seem almost in direct contrast with each other. One is of a man who has lived for over eight decades and who has for almost all intents and purposes been in the twilight of his life for at least a decade if not more. The other is of a boy, just twenty years of age, not even old enough to vote, who seemed to have his whole life ahead of him. One died in his sleep, the other died doing pull-ups. One had seen all and done all. The other thought he was going to see all and do all.

Yet one thing in common they had was that both had just the day before talked, laughed and/or cried with others. Both had plans for the future, one to run for the 2011 elections, the other to become an air force technician. And now, both of them are gone. To heaven or hell, who knows? But that is not the main point here.

Anyone who has followed the news over the past month would also recall the death of a 15 year old girl and her supposed 23 year old god-father after jumping from a HDB flat. Or the 16 year-old boy who so wanted to get a thrill driving that he went and sneaked out with his brother's car. Dead after crashing into a tree. I know an acquaintance of mine who at 21 years of age is suffering from two separate cancers. My class rep back in JC died at 20 from Leukemia suddenly just as it seemed he would recover.

Why this morbid fascination with death you may ask. It is not so much that I "like" reading or hearing such things, but rather that every time one reads of such things, one cannot help but think of all those youths who live their lives as though they would never die, never would be called to account for what they had done in their lives. When one is young, death often seems so far away or something that will never come. "I can repent tomorrow and get my life in order, but today I want to enjoy myself." What tragedy! They believe that tomorrow will always come, not knowing that no one can have assurance that he will wake up the next morning. Is it not all the more urgent for them to know the Gospel. To repent and believe before it is too late. Before that Day when the trumpets will sound and grace will be taken away and the dead will be judged before Christ. Maybe that is why I so detest preaching that tells Man to come to Christ so that he can get his best life now, or so that he can be blessed with so much material and worldly blessings that will turn to dust eventually.

"By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise; for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God."
- Hebrews 11: 9-10

Life indeed is so fragile. Man, like a flower, is here today, then gone tomorrow. Like a vapour he appears for a little while, then vanishes away. All the material goods one stores up for himself in this life, in the end moth and rust destroy and one's enjoyment of earthly delights fade away into nothingness with time.

And yet, we would rather continue pursing such things. Is it not madness? Indeed I am so often the maddest one of all, for so often does my heart stray from the magnificent obsession that is Christ to things of silver and things of gold.

If only youths and people in general would consider the fragility of their lives more seriously, then hopefully they would become sober and self-controlled and seek with all earnestness the one thing that will last into eternity and beyond. So that one day when you swing out into eternity on a scarlet thread, that scarlet thread, which is Christ, will be enough.

Video uploads

Some stuff that I edited from the web for my friend. Thought that I might as well post it here.

All to Jesus (Paris Reidhead)


Revival Hymn (Various)

The Holiness of God

Someone highlighted this video to me and I helped merge both parts so that it becomes one continuous video.

On Women and Authority

As a add-on to my last post, I saw this post over at the Christian Research Network. The actual blog is reformation 21.

*Edit* Another interesting read here.

Voddie Baucham on Sarah Palin

Saw this on the Def.Con. blog and I really never thought that such a thing could ever happen. Someone who actually stood up for the Truth *gasp* on international television. *double gasp*

Quote of the Day:
"I am a herald of the Truth of the Gospel, and my job is to teach the Gospel according to what the authors have said, not according to what I think the culture wants to hear."

- Voddie Baucham

I Will Never Be the Same Again

An old song that I wonder why the church nowadays doesn't seem to sing anymore. Probably because we do not seem to believe anymore in a God that changes and regenerates Man, or that a true Christian is a new creation in Christ, with a heart that seeks to glorify God's name above all else.

May the Lord bless you mightily through this song.



I will never be the same again,
I can never return, I've closed the door.
I will walk the path, I'll run the race
And I will never be the same again.

Fall like fire, soak like rain,
Flow like mighty waters, again and again.
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff,
And let the flame burn to glorify Your name.

There are higher heights, there are deeper seas,
Whatever you need to do, Lord do it in me.
The Glory of God fills my life,
And I will never be the same again.

The Beauty of God's Word

It is indeed a joy and even a certain amount of ecstasy when one reads the Bible and the words seem to jump out of the pages or verses that you may have read a hundred times before suddenly seem to give new insights or revelations.

Over the past couple of days I have been doing concurrent readings of 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy and in the mirror of God's Word, so much error in my thinking and theology have been exposed and indeed I praise God for the grace that He has given in revealing them to me. There is so much that the Lord is leading me to consider and I hardly know where to start or what to write down first, but I shall try to put in a coherent manner despite my own messy way of thinking.

"What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth."
- 1 Corinthians 3: 5-8 (ESV)

As I have shared before, so often I have fallen into sinful pride, in thinking that I was someone, a boy who knew more about God's Truth than most of his peers and the only person whom God could use to preach the truth in his church. But as I read this passage again, what is the man whom God uses but a person He so chooses to pour out His Grace upon? As one of my favourite preachers said, "I always remind myself [if ever I become proud in my own preaching] that God can speak through rocks and donkeys." Indeed the Lord uses the foolish to confound the wise and the wisdom of this world is folly to God.

In addition to this, this morning when I awoke there was this subtle yet obvious temptation in my flesh to dabble again in lustful thoughts, a habitual sin in my mind that has plagued me for more than a decade. And as I struggled against it as I always do, I read the two passages of 1 Corinthians that I had earmarked for today. And lo and behold, chapters 5 and 6 contained Paul's warnings against sexual immorality. Needless to say, the temptation subsided really quickly after that. May the Lord grant me the grace to remain holy as He is Holy.

"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."

- 1 Corinthians 6: 18-20

I have more thoughts regarding some things in 1 Timothy that God has impressed upon me regarding the false ascetism and super-spirituality that so often I have mistaken as closeness to God, but I shall probably write it down another time God willing.

One other thing that the Lord seems to be pressing upon me is whether, in my cynicism and caution, I have in a way despised or "quenched" the Spirit. While I believe that God is the indeed the God of miracles and a God who heals, there is a certain part of me that seems over-cautious and unbelieving when dealing with what is often termed now as "moves of the Spirit". Now I do dislike the way certain people seem to treat God and the Holy Spirit with a certain amount of irreverence or as a miracle vending machine that they can pull miracles out at will, but there is a sense that I may have become too judgemental and in the process may have inadvertently blasphemed against the work of the Holy Spirit.

“And anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but to him who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven."

- Luke 12:10

May the Lord grant me wisdom and mercy in discerning this.

Where is your focus?

The Kingdom of Heaven is like a Treasure (Paul Washer)


"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

- Matthew 13:44

Just and Justifier

Quoted from this blog (Defending. Contending.)

How can God ever “justify the ungodly” without becoming an abomination to Himself? “He who says to the wicked, ‘You are righteous,’ peoples will curse him, nations will abhor him [Proverbs 24:24]. How can God say to sinners like us, “You are righteous,” without violating His own character? How can God ever save us from Himself and His own righteousness and justice? . . . Repentant sinners know that they deserve to be punished, and that it would not be right for them not to be. They know that God cannot just “sweep their sins under the rug” and forget about them. Hence, the cry of their hearts is, “How can a just God ever smile upon me? How can this burden of guilt be removed? How can God pronounce a blessing upon me? How can a man like me be in the right before God!” There is only one answer to this dilemma. Someone has to pay for the sinner’s sins. Justice must be satisfied. Either it will be satisfied by the sinner’s own suffering forever in Hell, or it must be satisfied by someone else on the sinner’s behalf.

- Charles Leiter

A humbling from God

I believe today has been a culmination or fulfillment of a lesson God has been trying to teach me for the better part of two weeks. I had always thought that upon moving from ministry in BB to church, I would be essentially hitting the ground running. I had so many big thoughts and dreams and just wanted to serve the Lord actively in church just as I had spent the last 6 -7 years in ACS, or so I thought.

I thought, and I confess my shame in it, that I was going to be "God's Gift" to my church. I had thought that with what little knowledge God had so graciously granted me of Himself in the past year in ACS that I, Nicholas the MAN, could go forth and speak mighty things in His Name.

Oh how I thought wrong. Oh the foolishness of it all.

During the past week I could definitely sense the Lord leading me to patience, to be willing to sit down and just gaze upon Him and His Beauty. To be willing to, at the risk of sounding cliche, just be still and know that He is God. What need does God require of me running around impatiently doing "His Will"? The Lord moves in ways that we cannot see, and indeed He moves in His time.

But no, I would not heed His warnings. "Let me preach oh Lord, let me preach," that was my own selfish cry. I had "ingested" so many sermons by Ravenhill, Reidhead, Washer, etc... that in my conceitedness and pride I had deluded myself into thinking that I could preach like the best. And God let me have my own way. When Marc asked me to help him do one bible study for the Year 6s, I pushed aside all His warnings and jumped at the chance despite knowing deep down that something wasn't right. Even though in His graciousness He led me clearly to what should be preached, the preparation was tedious and without joy. During the sharing itself, indeed throughout the whole Bible Study, there was simply no flow or movement of the Holy Spirit. In fact it seemed like as though something had clouded my mind and I just could not get my thoughts together (as horribly jumbled as they already are). There was simply no passion or conviction in the message at all. There was no reality of Christ.

And as I walked back home, it almost seemed like the Lord was telling me gently. "I told you so, I told you so." And all I could do was reply, "Yes, Lord, you were right all along." I definitely sense now that the Lord is leading me into a time of spiritual wilderness, to a time of waiting upon Him and discovering His Joy as well as anguish for the church in ever increasing measure. To be able to wait patiently until the time He says,"Go." Indeed there is so much pride, self-righteousness and puffed-up knowledge within me that only His divine hands will be able to rescue from them, for I cannot even change myself.

Forgive me for my foolishness.

"We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him."
- 1 Corinthians 8: 1-2

Project Troubles

One of my calculations for my FYP just went kaput. Potentially lost a week's worth of calculations and I have no idea whether my backup data will upload properly.

Sigh, I really do not yet know the purpose God has for me in continuing on for my Honours year. As I've always believe, I am not academically inclined, and even after a month I still have almost no idea what my FYP is really all about. Added to the fact that somehow have no "form" for my sole history module, this semester is turning out to be a real disaster.

However, by faith I know that He will see me through and by faith He will guide me in His steps. Teach me oh Lord to seek after a city with foundations, who's builder and maker is God (Hebrews 11:9).

Blessed be the Name of the Lord

On Prayer

I have no idea why I cannot seem to spend more time in prayer. Actually maybe I do, but there is a sense that unless the Lord grants me grace, I will never be able to pray the way that I ought to pray.

The mind is a terrible thing. So many thoughts that distract, so often wandering off and thinking things that I know I should not be thinking.

I can't even spend a half an hour with Jesus, but I can spend hours upon hours just surfing on the internet or even reading a book. Unless the Lord should grant me a glorious revelation of Himself, one does sense that one will continue to languish in a spiritual dead-end.

Oh Lord teach me to pray. Teach me to persevere in prayer.

Busy Busy Busy

Gosh, so many things to do, so many things to write about. Uni work is really beginning to take a toll this semester. Don't really have time to write something long for now, so I'll just leave a song instead. :P


Standing here in Your presence
Thinking of the good things You have done
Waiting here patiently
Just to hear Your still small voice again
Holy, righteous, faithful till the end
Saviour, healer, redeemer and friend

I will worship You for who You are
I will worship You for who You are
I will worship You for who You are
Jesus

My soul secure, Your promise sure, Your Love endures, always
My soul secure, Your promise sure, Your Love endures, always
My soul secure, Your promise sure, Your Love endures, always

I am under Obligation

I've decided to post the whole sermon here. We are all under obligation to preach the Gospel and to preach the whole Gospel without altering or manipulating it. May God bless you through this message mightily.

*I apologize for the sound quality. Seems the upload caused some of the sound bits to go haywire. If you want the clearer original file, go to the sermon links on the sidebar.*

On Church

Over the past couple of weeks since finishing up my ministry in BB and turning my attention to church, it is almost like learning to walk all over again. Going into a completely new environment is always disconcerting and coming back after a gap of almost 6 years (or was it 7?) means that many things have changed, though some fundamental things have not.

I guess what troubles me most now, as it was 6 years ago, is the quite apparent lack of revelation of God and His Gospel in the church. The lack of reverence and desire for holiness pains me now more than ever. We embrace every new and "exciting" doctrine or method in the hope that it would attract the youth of today. My dear friend, what the church needs today are not new methodologies or fads, but the return to solid preaching of the Gospel and faithful exposition of Scripture. To realize it is not about boosting a person's self-esteem or promising him his best life now, but that is has all to do about eternity and the Glory of God.

We often treat God's word so flippantly and lightly. "God says this", "God says that," or "The Lord is telling me now to tell you this etc...." Now do not get me wrong. The Bible does instruct us not to quench the Spirit nor despise prophecy (1 Thess 5: 19-20), but it also does tell us immediately after that to test all things and hold fast to what is good (1 Thess 5:21). Do you not understand the seriousness of saying something is from God? It is not something to be uttered casually or without much serious discernment and prayer. Can you imagine the shame of standing before God on that Great Day and Him, who is above all things, tell you, "Why did you say things in my Name that I never said."

Oh the need for sober-mindedness. Oh the need for the Holy Spirit to convict men once again of their sin and utter depravity before God and to lead them to throw themselves upon Christ and the Cross. Oh the need for God's Grace to be upon us, to be able to rightly discern falsehood from that which is true.

I am sure that some who read these words of mine might think me arrogant and/or proud. However, let me just say that I too am guilty of doing so many of things I have stated above. May the Lord have mercy upon me and give me the grace and faith to conform more and more to the likeness of His Son.

A Need for Fresh Fire

Really really really need a fresh inspiration by the Holy Spirit. Life is beginning to feel like a roller-coaster of spiritual highs and lows again.

Fresh Fire by Don Moen

Fresh fire let it fall
O God hear our call
Send Your Spirit like a rushing wind
We need fresh fire

We are hungry we are thirsty
Crying our for more of You
Lord we are desperate for Your mercy
Let us burn to know Your Truth
Light a flame in us now
Send Your holy fire down

We have left our hearts unguarded
We confess we've walked away
Lord take us back to where we started
Where we first found love and grace
Light a flame in us now
Send Your holy fire down

More of Your love
More of Your power
Send a revival
We need it now
Stir up a fire
Let it burn brighter
Let the flame burn higher higher higher

Revive us again

A Short Notice

I think I just need to put this down as a sort of "disclaimer" for those who happen to chance upon this blog somehow by the grace of God :).

There is much in theology that remains much of a mystery to the finite mind of Man. Even the very basis of the Gospel, that how is it that God can so choose to love Man so as to send His only Begotten Son, to be crushed under His own almighty Wrath so that Man may be reconciled to Himself, is simply beyond the capabilities of Man to fully comprehend.

As such, there is so much in my understanding of God that needs refining and correction. I make no claim to special revelation nor of infallibility, but like all Man, I am so prone to stepping off the path and of turning my mind to dark and foolish things. Indeed after reading on all the various doctrines and theologies of Christianity, one does come out with a sense of knowing less that what one started with.

While it is still important to discover more about God through the study of various men's writings on Him and through the use of commentaries or study guides, it is also vital to walk with Him as a lifestyle and to literally seek and chase after Him throughout the day.

All that I post is of special conviction to my own life and of which I pray will also be to yours. But indeed I believe that God will continue to refine my knowledge and understanding of Him and His Word and that I am still much of a novice in Christ.

May He receive all the Praise

Mental Block

Recently gotten into a bit of a writer's block for this blog. It's not so much as there is nothing that I want to write about, but the fact is that some of the things that I wish I could write here, I am the least qualified to write about. More and more do I realize how little I know about God, His Grace and Mercy. So little do I know about prayer and His Glory. Who am I to speak and write about Him, the One who created the Heavens and the Earth. The One who placed all the stars in their place and which by His Power, not one of them is missing.

Why then do I continue to write on? I guess it is to provide a sort of travel log over the years. I look back at what I have written a year or two ago and realize how different my views and focus are now. Indeed that looking back, God is indeed faithful and true. May He always be praised and adored.

"This is a faithful saying:

For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself."

- 2 Timothy 2:11-13

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Been contemplating a bit on life the past few days and I am ever so conscious about my own mortality. So much that I have done will turn to dust and so much that I have treasured will one day be destroyed by rust and moths. What then will last into eternity?


When it's all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters
Did I do my best to live for truth?
Did I live my life for you?

When it's all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I have done
For love's rewards
Will stand the test of time

Lord, your mercy is so great
That you look beyond our weakness
That you found purest gold in miry clay
Turning sinners into saints

I will always sing your praise
Here on earth and in heaven after
For you've joined me at my true home
When it's all been said and done
You're my life when life is gone...

Your Call by Paris Reidhead

"Your Call is to Jesus Christ, not to a geographical place."

- Paris Reidhead speaking on Missions

An excellent message regarding the verse "when two or three are gathered in His name." It's not about saying, "in Jesus name", at the end of prayer, but about gathering together and praying first and foremost for the Glory of God.

Warning Hard Message Ahead

The Great Privilege (Download from here)


Warning: May offend those who believe in a soft, happy-go-lucky, antinomian god who just really can't get anything done on this earth if there aren't any well-meaning people to help him out

Message for the Day

How do you know you believe?



Repent and believe the Gospel.

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Just an additional add-on for one of my older posts (It belongs to Christ). This is the edited portion that I wanted to post but for some reason the website I use had a problem at that time.

In a Whirlwind of Thoughts

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating when I say that I am currently in a whirlwind of thoughts now as it is more like a breeze that you feel just before it rains, but indeed there are many thoughts and worries that contest for my attention, especially over these past few days. So bear with me if I appear to be rambling (as I usually do) and/or my posts appear to be disjointed and "non-flowing" (is there even such a word?) over the next few days.

=================================

Supremacy of Christ vs Supremacy of Man (Voddie Baucham @ Desiring God Conference 2006)


Indeed in this Man-centered age, so often have many "Christians" and "churches" relegated God to be nothing more than a divine vending machine, where we go to to get our wishes granted. And so often has our evangelism been based on what sort of perks and benefits God can give you in this temporal world. Believe in God/Jesus and He will heal your backache. Believe in God/Jesus and He will give you a great job or top grades in your exam. Believe in God/Jesus and He will bless you with all the luxuries of this life.

What a travesty! Believe in God because He has sent His only begotten Son to die on a cross to save you from His Wrath! Believe in Christ because though you did not deserve mercy or grace, in His Love He came and drank down the Wrath of His Father so that you can be reconciled and redeemed to God! Don't you dare cheapen the Gospel Call to anything less than that.

But no, no. We want to know what God can do for ME. And it does not even cross our minds to ask ourselves how can a Holy and Just God not strike us down where we stand because of our crimes against Him.

Indeed if it were not for His Mercy, sinful Man would have been obliterated from the face of the Earth eons ago. If it were not for His Grace, Man would have no hope of being reconciled to Him. But yet, and in this is the beautiful mystery, He chose to Love us, and to demonstrate His Love to us by sending Christ down, and for Him to face His Father's Wrath in our stead. What else could you possibly want? What else could you possibly need? Is this sacrifice not sufficient for you, insignificant little you, to live out your days in complete Joy and thanksgiving come what may?

I too struggle with this question. I thank God with every fibre of my being for what He has blessed me with, yet my constant fear would be this, if one day God so chose to take away all the comforts of this life which He has given, would I curse God to His face as Job was tempted to. Lord I beg you for faith if that day should ever come.

To the Wind with your problems (Paul Washer)

===================================

Having read this blog post from this blog, I too realize that so often felt a certain sense of self-righteousness based on my experiences. So often have I been like the Pharisee who despised the tax collector because I do this or believe that. So often have I thought that because I know this certain Truth or done that commandment of God, I must be somehow better than this other person in church, forgetting that all we like sheep have gone astray, and only that by God's Grace alone has He seen fit to reveal what little Truth so far to me compared with the fullness of His Glory. Indeed I so need to repent daily of this, and that it is only by His sustaining Grace that I should have breath in me.

All praise and thanks be to God

Be Unto Your Name

An old song I know, but one that is so essential in today's Man-centered church.



==============================

Sermon Compilation (On Judgment)

Thinking of the future (again)

I do not know why I so often turn my thoughts to the future and all its uncertainties. Maybe it is at this point in life that one is literally left at a loss at what to do and the future appears less clear and certain than what one is used to.

Growing up, it is indeed easy to become so singly focused, as I usually am, on what one has to do and on the next step in life. From NYPS to ACS, from ACS to ACJC, from ACJC to NS, from NS to NUS, the path is more or less clear and easily seen. However as one now turns his thoughts to the future, thoughts of work and family, thoughts of taking that first independent step into the unknown, one is literally overwhelmed with the amount of choices and uncertainties there are. Where the verse, "We walk by faith and not by sight" really takes on a whole new reality.

Things of course are not helped by the sheer number of weddings that I have had to attend and would probably be attending over the next few years. For a person who rarely feels an emotional attachment to anyone, to move in this direction is quite really a terrifying experience. Notwithstanding the issue of supporting such a relationship, the idea of entering a relationship is something that I can never quite really comprehend or imagine. Oh I have had my fair share of crushes and infatuations, but the weight of responsibility and expectation in a relationship is something that I have always shrunk from.

But in the words of the Lord God, "It is not good that the man should be alone" (Gen 2:18). One dreams of a companion and helper that the Lord will provide. Indeed if the Lord so wills, He will provide one who is a fellow slave of Christ, for no other criteria matters. Whether He chooses to bless me with singlehood or marriage, may His Name be praised amongst the nations.

All thanks be to God

Paul Washer on God's Will (Slaves of Christ)

The Dark of Night

"What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life....

For the death that He (Christ) died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace."

-Romans 6: 1-4, 10-14

Oh God help me, for I cannot help myself

He's Alive

The gates and doors were barred and all the windows fastened down;
I spent the night in sleeplessness and rose at every sound
Half in hopeless sorrow and half in fear the day
Would find the soldiers breakin' thru to drag us all away

And just before the sunrise I heard something at the wall
The gate began to rattle and a voice began to call;
I hurried to the window and looked down into the street
Expecting swords and torches and the sounds of soldier's feet

There was no one there but Mary so I went down to let her in;
John stood there beside me as she'd told us where she'd been.
She said "They moved Him in the night and none of us knows where;
The stone's been rolled away and now His body isn't there!"

We both ran t'ward the garden, then John ran on ahead;
We found the stone and empty tomb just the way that Mary said.
But the winding sheet they wrapped Him in was just an empty shell;
And how or where they'd taken Him was more than I could tell.

Well, something strange had happened there,
but just what I didn't know;
John believed a miracle but I just turned to go.
Circumstance and speculation couldn't lift me very high
'Cause I'd seen them crucify Him, then I saw Him die.

Back inside the house again the guilt and anguish came;
Everything I'd promised Him just added to my shame.
When at last it came the choices, I denied I knew His name;
And even if He was alive, it wouldn't be the same

But suddenly the air was filled with strange and sweet perfume;
Light that came from everywhere drove shadows from the room.
Jesus stood before me with His arms held open wide;
And I fell down on my knees, and just clung to Him and cried.

He raised me to my feet and as I looked into His eyes,
Love was shining out from Him like sunlight from the skies
Guilt and my confusion disappeared in sweet release
And every fear I'd ever had just melted into peace

CHORUS
He's alive! He's alive, He's alive and I'm forgiven!
Heaven's gates are open wide:
He's alive, He's alive, He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide
He's alive, He's alive, He's alive and I'm forgiven
Heaven's gates are open wide He's alive, He's alive, He's alive

Engrossed in the Word of God / Guarding against deception

I am so thankful to God for men such as D. A. Carson who have been given the grace to exposit on the Word with such authority and clarity. Even as we sat listening today for the second day in a row as he spoke on the Book of Revelations (no easy book by any measure), one indeed becomes so enchanted with the beauty of God's Word. That when he said that due to time constraints he could not go deeper into it, one almost feels like shouting, "By God, give that man another hour, two hours, the whole night even! I want to know more. I want to know more about God, His Word, His Majesty and Beauty."

But today as he spoke about false doctrines and false prophets, one point rang clearly in my mind. Satan isn't stupid. He would not lead many (true) Christians astray by planting a clear heresy in the church. No, he instead just needs to turn a Christian's eyes away from the Gospel and from Christ. Oh, no need to talk about sin and all that, it's too depressing. Oh, no need to continually talk about the Gospel, just assume every Christian already "knows" enough about it. Oh, no need to keep on talking about Christ, just concentrate on teaching "Christian" principles like how to love or about unity, after all it's more important to teach people how to apply Christianity to their lives rather than to teach them about Christ. Don't keep preaching about the Cross, be pragmatic! Teach about application or about what God can do for me.

What rubbish! It's either Christ or nothing. How on earth can one teach on love and not point back to Christ. How on earth can one talk about unity and not talk about unity in Christ and Christ alone.

Now do not misunderstand me. While yes we should teach on Love, Unity, Providence, etc..., at the center of it all must be Christ and the Gospel. The Gospel cannot be treated as merely Christianity 101 that we quickly skip by and then move on to the more "mature" stuff. In Christ do all things consist, and all things are made through Him and for Him.

So often in 12th Company we have taught love and unity without Christ. Oh love your Juniors we would say, without telling them about the Love that Christ showed us first, which only then can we truly love others. Our camps became thinly veiled attempts to conform or contort the Boys into an idea of unity that has more in common with our godless culture than with biblical unity, using the same methods that the world uses since, in our pragmatism, they produce the "results" that we want. All those defaulter and change parades and rabid shouting, what did they accomplish in the end? So what if a Cohort becomes "united" if they are not united in Christ and through Christ. If Christ be not the foundation, then all that is built above it will turn to dust eventually. And there are so many more examples that came to my mind about how we in the 12th have turned our eyes and focus away from Christ and the Gospel. From our Mission trips to our CE programme / Bible Studies to our much vaunted "Spiritual Blueprints", we have placed our trust more in methods and programmes than in God and the Gospel.

Oh the need to be watchful in these days of loose doctrine and rampant mysticism. I myself am so guilty of treating God's Word lightly and of not studying it with the seriousness that I ought to have. Oh may the Lord have mercy on us.

The Vanishing Conscience

I've been reading this book by John Macarthur on "The Vanishing Conscience", which he wrote in 1995. I think that 13 years on it is safe to say that it does not require much updating since what he wrote about then is just as prevalent now.

When you have stories like this appearing in our newspapers, you can be sure that when the bible says that the"wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually" (Genesis 6:5), it is definitely true today as it was in the early days of creation. How on earth anyone can go public regarding such "loose" living and not feel a tinge of shame or remorse is beyond me. Oh you may not care what others think, but I am indeed fearful of what you will be thinking when you stand before the Judgment Seat of Christ on that day.

Society literally crumbles all around us, and all we are concerned about is asking God for that nice Mercedes or for a job that would give us a five figure monthly salary. Man marches in a vanity fair and into eternal destruction while churches today worry over their image/numbers and self-esteem of their members. This should be cause enough for us to weep.

"Awake, awake! Put on your strength, O Zion;..."
- Isaiah 52:1

Being Anxious for Nothing

I was planning to write a moderately long post on the state of doctrine in the Church worldwide along with some "discernment" blogs that I think will be good for those who are concerned to look through in order to keep abreast of such developments as they occur. However, I don't really have the mental stamina to write one now, so I'll probably bore you all with a random ramble. :P

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As the holidays come to an end and the final school year begins, one could say that one often gets that sinking feeling, like the captain of the Titanic. I think most people who know me know how much I "detest" chemistry, which unfortunately took me close to 3 years to finally realize. Indeed I am no academic and definitely no researcher. Ah the arrogance and follies of youth and youthful ambitions or dreams.

However, after reading through Paul's letter to the Philippians, I am learning to trust more and more in God's Providence.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 4-7 (emphasis mine)

Indeed there is so much to be thankful for, not least that the Son of the Most Great and Almighty God would shed His blood for my soul. That I can lose and count all things rubbish so that I may gain Christ. For God has set me on this path and indeed He that began a good work will finish it. Oh that all that is to come in the year ahead will be for His Glory alone and all praise be to Him.

The Joy of the Lord is my strength!

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Thought I should also share this clip. Especially encouraging for missionaries and those serving full-time in the ministry.

On Theology

Having recently finished R. C. Sproul's simple book "What is Reformed Theology", I am more convinced then ever that I will never really understand what most theologians go on about high theology or the various -isms of Christianity like Arminianism or Calvinism or Dispensationalism.

Indeed, as I read through Sproul's book, there were often portions when I could not comprehend the thinking and language behind many of his arguments and discussions. I must confess that I am no academic (as my uni results readily show) and the thought of the myriad of concepts and theologies that abound in Christianity intimidate me to a certain degree. Wherein does one find Christ amongst this huge torrent of literature and ideas? With so much disagreement over topics ranging from the basic issue of salvation to predictions of the End Times, what then is the right path and doctrine?

But indeed, as Charles said to me, to borrow a phrase from the Apostle Paul, so many say, "I follow Arminius", or, "I follow Calvin". Who then follows Christ? Man attempts to compartmentalize God and Christ into neat sections, to dot all the i's and cross all the t's. To tie up all the loose ends such that it is as though God is constrained by Man to act only in or through certain ways.

Now do not get me wrong, theology and doctrine and important, maybe even vital for Man to understand God, especially in this day and age of loose theology and poor doctrine. Indeed by learning more about God through theology, we come to a greater amazement and wonderment of Him. However, like what I heard in a sermon by Paul Washer, you can never squeeze God into a neat theology or doctrine. If you do, then there's something that you either left out or distorted in your quest for a neat theology. God is simply too Great and Incomprehensible to fully reduce into man-made theology or doctrine.

As for myself, it all comes back to Christ alone. The argument over limited or unlimited atonement does not interest me, only that the Gospel has to be preached to all so that as many which are to be saved by the Grace of God will be saved. "Once saved always saved" or not, everyday I will examine myself, as the Apostle Paul wrote, and indeed to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.

I count all things rubbish

Indeed even today as I watched the Boys get their medals and photos taken with the President, one does not really feel a sense of elation and joy that one should suppose he should feel. Even last week, upon officially relinquishing my role and duties as OIC of the Year 4s after 2 1/2 long years, one would not have considered that moment any much as sentimental or emotional as one would have thought it would be.

And so I remember, regardless of all the success or failure, regardless of all the accomplishments or medals or awards, regardless of all the praise and adulation of Man, like Paul, I too am beginning to "count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord", and indeed that I "count ALL things RUBBISH, that I may GAIN CHRIST." (Philippians 3:8)

Truly that it has even come to a point that conversations and activities without Christ as its focus and center are beginning to become boring and futile. When one wishes to be able to spend time with others to only talk about Christ and exalt the name of God and to serve Him with all one's might because He is exceedingly worthy.

By grace, God has brought me back to Himself. By grace, He has brought me back to the message of the Gospel. By grace, He will set me on the narrow path and discipline me when I wander off. By grace, He will see me through till He comes again in glory. That indeed I am not saved by my own works or merit, but that I am saved based on the merit and worth of another, Jesus Christ my Lord.

Oh Lord grant me courage and faith.
Christ has risen!
Christ has risen indeed.

Willing to be Matyred for Christ

Taken from this site

Ignatius (A.D. 67-110) was ordered by the emperor to be arrested and was sentenced to be thrown to the wild beasts in Rome. He longed for the honor of giving his life for his Savior, saying, “May the wild bests be eager to rush upon me. If they be unwilling, I will compel them. Come, crowds of wild beats; come, tearing and manglings, wracking of bones and hacking of limbs; come cruel tortures of the devil; only let me attain unto Christ.”

Polycarp was the last one of those who had been personally taught by the apostles. He was arrested and brought into the amphitheater in Smyrna, which was filled with an immense multitude. Since there were no images of gods in the house of worship of the Christians, the heathen rightly concluded that the Christians did not in believe in the existence of the gods, and so they accused them of being atheists. The proconsul reminded Polycarp of his great age, and urged him to show his penitence by joining in the cry, “Away with the atheists!” Polycarp looked straight at the excited crowd, pointed his finger at them, and cried, “Away with the atheists!”

Then the proconsul said, “Revile Christ and I will release you.” But Polycarp answered, “Eighty and six years have I served Him, and He has never done me wrong, how can I blaspheme Him, my King, who has saved me?” To the crowd the proconsul then proclaimed, “Polycarp has confessed himself to be a Christian.” The crowds yelled, “Let him be burned!”

Wood was collected and made into a pile. Polycarp asked not to be fastened to the stake. “Leave me thus,” he said, “He who strengthens me to endure the flames will also enable me to stand firm at the stake without being fastened with nails.” The woodpile was lighted. While Polycarp prayed with a loud voice, “Lord God Almighty, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, I praise Thee that Thou hast judged me worthy of this day and of this hour, to participate in the number of Thy witnesses, and in the cup of Thy Christ,” the flames consumed him. Polycarp’s martyr death took place in the year 156 A.D.

-From “The Church In History” by B.K. Kuiper

The Faithful by Steve Green

Hoping in the Lord

This verse appeared randomly on my facebook page today and pretty much sums up my general mood right now.

"Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God."

- Psalm 43:5 (ESV)

The Wonderful Cross

I just had to post this. Which voice is louder to you?

What Dreams May Come

Is there an age where one ceases to dream?
To stop hoping or thinking of fantastic things?
Is there a time when one should just stop thinking of what could have been?
To explore and imagine entire realms of possibilities?

Maybe that's the problem with me. So often do I day-dream and day-dream I do, even as I sit in lectures or while driving up and down the North-South Highway or while standing in the shower. Dreams of glory, of love, of utter fantasy. And yet, reality is reality. While dreams may provide temporary relief and escape, it is still what it is, temporary and unreal. And so often am I left feeling even worse-off then before.

Maybe there comes a time when one should stop dreaming...

On Faith Alone by Robert Pierre

On faith alone I stand.
There is no higher ground.
I give all I am.
for my soul will never doubt.
Though the storms they may be raging.
You have always held my hand.
To thy cross my heart will always cling.
On faith alone I stand.
On faith alone I live.
Not in what I say or do,
But the blood you freely give covers me and makes me new.
For your love is ever with me.
Lord Jehovah great I am.
O my trust grows stronger on my knees.
On faith alone I stand.
Hallelujah,
hallelujah,
hallelujah.
On faith alone I stand.
When I reach my final breath,
and I fall into your arms.
I’ll proclaim with no regret.
On faith alone,
sola fide,
sola fide,
sola fide.
On faith alone I stand.
Hallelujah,
hallelujah,
hallelujah.
On faith alone I stand.
On faith alone I stand.

On Preaching

Just putting a link for future reference

Work Work

Gaahh.... I really can't see myself working. Been going so often to Malaysia now that I think I can finish all the pages in my passport by December. I'm also beginning to drive like a Malaysian as well. :P

Needless to say I am still clueless as to the pipe business, and the fact that my dad does not really explain anything to me makes it even all the more frustrating. Hmmm... Maybe that's why I end up "teaching" the Year 4s / 6s the same way as well. Just do and hope they pick up the necessary knowledge and/or skills by watching, not realizing that they most probably are just as uninterested and/or clueless.

Well with Honours coming up I won't be having to deal with them for long. I guess they'll probably be better off with someone better able to communicate with them.

God and God Alone

Another incredible song by Steve Green.



God and God alone
Created all these things we call our own
From the mighty to the small
The glory in them all
Is God's and God's alone

God and God alone
Reveals the truth of all we call unknown
All the best and worst of man
Can't change the master plan
It's God's and God's alone

God and God alone
Is fit to take the universe's throne
Let everything that lives
Reserve its truest praise
For God and God alone

God and God alone
Will be the joy of our eternal home
He will be our one desire
Our hearts will never tire
Of God and God alone

Quote of the Day

"If I had my way, I would declare a moratorium1 on public preaching of “the plan of salvation” in America for one to two years. Then I would call on everyone who has use of the airways and the pulpits to preach the holiness of God, the righteousness of God and the law of God, until sinners would cry out, “What must we do to be saved?” Then I would take them off in a corner and whisper the gospel to them. Such drastic action is needed because we have gospel-hardened a generation of sinners by telling them how to be saved before they have any understanding why they need to be saved."

- Paris Reidhead

Taken from this blog

1 a suspension of activity: e.g. a moratorium on the testing of nuclear weapons.

Here's a link to a post about leading a Gospel-Driven Life. Please read and pass it along.

Christians! This is Our God

From heaven you came, helpless babe,
Entered our world, your glory veiled;
Not to be served but to serve,
And give Your life That we might live.

This is our God, the servant king,
He calls us now to follow Him, to bring our lives
As a daily offering of worship to the Servant King.

There in the garden of tears,
My heavy load He chose to bear;
His heart with sorrow was torn,
'Yet not My will But Yours,' He said.

Come see His hands And His feet,
The scars that speak of sacrifice;
Hands that flung stars Into space
To cruel nails Surrendered.

So let us learn How to serve,
And in our lives Enthrone Him;
Each other's needs to prefer,
For it is Christ We're serving.

A Time For Everything

" To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace."

- Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

A time to move on, and a time to fade away.

I so often look back to the past and wonder what could have been. So many regrets and dreams. So much joy and despair. So much that could, or rather, should have been done.

As the days and years go by, one sees Life move on and one soon has to follow suit. As the curtain of a chapter of life gone by falls, one awaits with trepidation for the curtain to rise on another chapter.

Well, my days of active service in ACS(I) are coming to an end and one cannot help but look back and wonder what could have been.
What if someone had just been mature enough to step in and stop all the nonsense going on during those dark years of the 12th.
What if there had just been someone who had sat me down to explain to me what ministry and serving in BB was all about.
What if I had not wandered so far from God during the times when I was with the Year 6s.
What if I had just trained the Year 4s properly, to teach them to love and seek God above all else.

I did a lot of stupid things during those early years. And if not for the Grace of God, I would have probably done even more stupid things then. But the time has come to move on and let others take the helm. I just pray that the mistakes of the past will not be repeated among these incoming batch of young officers.

About a Preacher's Invitation

Quote of the Day

"How could we have such a low view of the gospel of Jesus Christ that we have to manipulate men psychologically to get them to come down and pray a prayer? . . . How many times have I heard evangelists say, “It’ll only take five minutes.“? No my dear friend, it will take your life–all of it! “We’re just trying to attract people and then we’ll gradually bring them in further and further.” That is what the cults do, that’s not what Jesus did. Notice that in the gospels every time a great crowd is following Jesus, he turns around and says something so radical to them that most of them walk away. Of course Jesus probably would not get invited to teach evangelism [in most churches today]."

- Paul Washer

From this blog

Video of "Manipulation of the Invitation"

He Holds The Keys

Death rides blackened clouds across the sky
The Son of man lays down to die
With every pounding blow upon the nail
Thunder rumbles all through hell
And from death's barren womb the captives cry
Who is there to free us should He die

His grave becomes a door, He enters in
To face the author of all sin
Defying death and the grave He takes their keys
And with them every captive frees
And from death's barren womb the captives cry
Arise for our redemption draweth nigh

Chorus:
For He holds the keys
He holds the keys
And though we've been held captive
At long last we are free
For He holds the keys

Against the gates of hell I now resist
For the shackles that had torn my wrists
Lay before me now upon the ground
To sin I am no longer bound
For from death's barren womb
He heard my cry
And loosed the chains that bound me to a lie

Chorus

And to all the things that have kept you away
That keep you defeated day after day after day
The heartache that nobody sees
That eats at your soul like a cruel disease
He who set the captives free
It is He, it is He who holds your keys

Quote of the Day

"Both in India and in my travels around Western countries, I constantly uncovered a preoccupation with so-called “ministry” activities operated by Christian workers, financed by church monies, but with little else to distinguish them as Christian. . . . Social concern is a natural fruit of the Gospel. But to put it first is to put the cart before the horse; and from experience, we have seen it fail in India for more than 200 years. Yet while I realized the intrinsic nature of the Gospel involved [in] caring for the poor, I knew the priority was giving them the Gospel. Meeting their needs was a means to share the love of Christ so they would be saved for eternity."

- K.P. Yohannan

Taken from this blog

GDoP & PPP

Went for Global Day of Prayer today and guess what, the place wasn't full. Maybe not even 3/4 full in fact. Amazing to think that for Festival of Praise the place would be full 1/2 an hour before the event started and hordes of people would be stuck outside for want of a seat. But then again, maybe that sums up Singaporean Christianity. People would rather go for an exciting (entertaining) music extravaganza showcasing the latest in Christian Rock (if there is such a thing) rather than go to any event with the word "prayer" in it. We want to be entertained and God is there for our entertainment. We're contented to keep God as a little cherry on top of our mountain of material goods and accomplishments, and woe betide if He should think of becoming anything else.

Which is why I think the last speaker really made a lot of sense when he reminded us that all of our achievements and progress comes from God and are for His Glory and Blessing. As a country awash with affluence (especially amongst the Christian community)how much more should we take care not to forget the Giver. Though I must confess that after about 1 1/2 hours my mind did begin to wander and fatigue began to set in. Oh that God may have mercy on me.

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Potluck at Zhiguang's place went relatively smoothly though firstly, I should have prepared what I wanted to say earlier and secondly, it was a bit disappointing to see the turnout, not least that there was quite a decent amount of food left uneaten.

The number of Year 6's signing up was well..... underwhelming to put it mildly. Maybe one can be understanding since they have quite a bit of studying to do in view of their exams and the programme presented to them was quite demanding (to them). Maybe we're "selling" officership so desperately that people think of us like insurance salesmen who should be avoided and ignored. Maybe six years in BB is too much and one wants to throw off the shackles of regulations and rules and finally be free to do what one pleases.

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I do not know why, but I have a very bad feeling about the next few days. Like a slow onset of depression (which everyone seems to be suffering from recently).

Fascinated by the World

"Is the world crucified to you tonight, or does it fascinate you?"
- Leonard Ravenhill

When one thinks about the 12th Company, one is hard pressed to find God within it. So often we have turned aside to our own separate way, so often we sacrifice Christ for "pragmatic" gain and worldly acclaim. Having a form of godliness, but denying its power.

"Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked"
- Revelations 3:17

When will we awake from our slumber? When will we finally realize the wretched state that we are in? When will we finally throw ourselves upon the Grace of God alone? For we would rather busy ourselves with programmes and planning instead of waiting upon and seeking the Lord, and so delude ourselves by putting ministry above God Himself.

We boast so much in our gold medals. We take pride so often in our long heritage and traditions. We have "methods" and "strategies" to "bring down" the Power of God. We seek the Lord in order that men may praise our "holiness" and "spirituality". We believe all is well, not realizing the boat we're on is sinking and so many are perishing without Christ.

Why all the arguments? Why all the "I follow Paul" or "I follow Apollos"? Why all the disputes over who gets the credit for what ultimately belongs to God alone? Why all the petty arguments over small personal sleights? Why the chasing after of what the World deems as success? Why all this foolish and meaningless boasting? Fools! Do you not know that all our righteousness are like filthy rags? What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul. Will God, the creator of the UNIVERSE, take a look at all your gold medals and accomplishments and be impressed? Meaningless, meaningless, all of these are meaningless. Why worry over one's "ricebowl", position or career? Is not the Lord mighty enough to provide for those who seek His Will? Or is your god so weak that you must fend for yourself.

I know of my own struggles. My struggles with pride and self-righteousness. My life-long struggle with lust and sexual immorality. The times when I have relied on my own wisdom and strength and chased after what the World says I should chase.

"But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."
- Gal 6:14

When I think of the generations of BB Boys who have passed or will pass through the doors of the 12th, how many will be secure in their faith? How many will question their faith after going though IB and all its godless studies on "philosophy" and Buddhist-like texts. Of those who return to serve, how many will do so out of a desire to be "respected" by the Boys or because they want to exercise power and authority over others and feel good about themselves?

Did not Jesus Himself come to serve rather than to be served? Did not Jesus wash the disciples feet and command them to do likewise? It's either Christ or nothing! One does not come back in order to have one's needs met. Indeed, one serves only so that Christ may be glorified and that the Gospel may be preached. For what else is there besides Christ?

In Christ Alone, I place my trust
And find my glory in the Power of the Cross.
In every victory, let it be said of me,
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ Alone
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I Surrender All - Clay Crosse


I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses, that I alone command
But the castles I've constructed, by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand
In the middle of the battle, I believe I've finally found
I'll never know the thrill of victory, 'till I'm willin' to lay down
All my weapons of defense, and earthly strategies of war
So I'm layin' down my arms and runnin' helplessly to Yours

I surrender all, my silent hopes and fears
Though the price to follow, costs me everything
I surrender all, my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition, is the treasure I obtain
If I measure successes, on scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain
So I lay aside these trophies, to pursue a higher crown
And should you choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay down
I surrender all the triumphs, for it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

Everything I am, all I've done and all I've known
Now belongs to you the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac, on the sacrificial fire
If all I have, is all that You desire
I surrender all

It belongs to Christ

Part 5 of 6 of "I am under obligation"



Part 6 of 6

"But if they say they know they are a sinner and they say they want to go to heaven, then we do the greatest of all travesties. [We ask them] Would you like to open the door and ask Jesus to come into your heart...... Listen, its Christ's door and if He wants to come in He will kick the stinkin' door down......"

-Taken from Paul Washer's sermon "I am under obligation"
*Start from 1:54 of part 6*

Arrested while Preaching

To think that such a thing could occur in a "free" country.

Will Singaporeans be willing to go through the same thing?

For All Women (and some Men) to Watch :P

Proper advice regarding BGR

An End & A Beginning

Well the Year 6 have finally been released from their obligations to the 12th and the pioneer Primers Programme has reached its final conclusion.

Looking at these bunch of Year 6s, one cannot but feel the years which have passed by. When they entered in 2003 as Sec 1s, I too had just returned to the Company following my Seniors' years in ACJC as and when I could with my NS commitments.

The camps and hikes of those initial years. Oh how I wish I was so much wiser back then. That someone had sat me down and explained the mission of the 12th. Someone who would have walked me through and guided my faith. I never understood the purpose of BB and of the ministry of service in the 12th during those first few years. Looking back, I regret the immaturity of my faith and of not having the conscientiousness and mindfulness to truly reach out and understand them. To tell them about God and the wonderful things He has done. To support Ivan during those tough times.

And so now, as some consider BB life after Primers, the mission must be laid clear before them. Their faith must be strengthened and matured through mentorship, the reading of the Word and by prayer. The mistakes of the past cannot be repeated again. Just as no Boy enters BB by chance, no Officer or Instructor serves in the 12th by chance, for all have been assigned and designated by God.

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As I count down my days of service in the 12th, and consider the Year 4s that the Lord had placed under me, there were so many things that I could, and should, have done better. My weaknesses and failures remain so glaring in my life. My inability to push through policies, to communicate properly with the Year 4s or to practice what I preach, my readiness to compromise on values, my tendency to idle.

And that is why TA Camp 2008 is so special. For I finally came to the realization that if there is anything I should boast in, I will boast in the Lord.

Our God Never Sleeps

We must perservere in prayer.

" Not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer."

-Romans 12:11-12

Busyness and Lethargy are a bad mix

Busy busy busy, yet feeling so tired and restless. Am I suffering from post-TA and pre-projects/assignment syndrome?

The 4 (unofficial) Core values of the 12th

1. No Boy enters BB by chance

2. Discipline, not regimentation

3. Christian Leadership is key

4. Service to the community

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Lest we forget.

The 12th(I) Officer's Creed

Or at least the verses that all those who intend to serve should read and believe

"But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.

For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness.

Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ.

But we were gentle among you,like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.

So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

For you remember, brothers,our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God.

You are witnesses, and God also,how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers.

For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory."

1 Thessalonians 2:4-10 (ESV)

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I really must thank God today. I had accidentally left my thumbdrive in my shorts yesterday and they went through the washer. Only found out when I was searching for it today and when I tried it, it somehow managed to work without any loss of data. God is gracious even in the small things :P

For the One who gave it all

My Motivation

People ask, "Why be so passionate about God?"
People ask, "Why give up ambitions, career and leisure for His service?"
People ask, "Why spend day after day in ACS with the Boys?"
People ask, "What ever could motivate you to do all these?"

He shed His blood for my soul, isn't that enough?

Weakness

I have finally come to realize, after such an unforgivably long time, the utter and total weakness of my flesh, of my own human wisdom and strength. The dawning realization and revelation that hits you like a speeding train and leaves you so totally and completely broken and in despair.

For it is one thing to declare it and acknowledge it with your mind, but it is a completely different story when it hits your heart. When the revelation tears away the darkness that shrouded the eyes of your heart and you realize how totally blind you were before.

For the Lord sustains us and everything in the Universe. No breath, no beat of our heart happens apart from the grace and power of God. In sickness and in health, in poverty and in abundance, the Lord sustains us in all situations.

Who is like the Lord? Who calls the stars by name and who commands them into place. Who raised the highest mountains and carved the deepest seas. Who commands the sea and wind to move where He so desires. And yet He calls to Man and Man says, "No!"

But yet I have greater confidence, for my confidence is in Christ and in Christ Alone. For when I am weak, He is strong. For when the Man in me decreases, then does Christ increase in me. And that is the reason why I have hope and assurance. For my God is a mighty God and I know that what He has planned for me is good.

I know that in the future, there will be times that I will try to take back the wheel. There will be times I will wander away from the path that God has set for me. I pray that the Lord will come quickly to bring me back to the narrow way.

Lord take the wheel, for I am indeed too weak to do so.

100th Post

Finally reached the 100th post mark after like what, 4 years? Not bad though, 25 posts a year :P.

So how does one then commemorate such an "achievement"? Keeping a blog has allowed me to look back at what I was 4 years ago in NS and see the journey that God has so graciously led me through.

Looking even further back, I cannot help but be amazed at how God has led me through my short 23 years on this Earth and I will commemorate this 100th post by declaring His faithfulness and Grace.

Primary 4 1994 - Having chosen Scouts as my CCA, somehow we had to redo the whole exercise due to some administrative problem. Talked to my mum and she said: "Join BB cause your dad and uncles had all been part of it." And thus started my time in the BB

1997 - Posted to SJI. Somehow managed to appeal into ACS(I) and joined 12th(I)

1999 - That one night of brokenness and helplessness in LTC II. The day we bared our hearts and our vulnerabilities to one another.

2000 - The camp that God so graciously came even though we were so undeserving of Him. The six months in Boarding School where I was so overwhelmed by God's power and Majesty.

2003-2005 - The NS years where even though I wandered away so many times, God came and guided me through. Went through BMT twice and still managed to enter OCS. Got assigned to RSAF ADA then reassigned to C3, a (I admit) much easier vocation than most.

This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.

- 2 Timothy 2:11-13

Back to Basics & to repentance

Since the end of last year I had been asking God for a Word, for myself and especially in view of the (very close) TA Camp, and the words that struck me were "Back to Basics"

What is the crux of salvation? What is it that defines Christianity when you strip away all the high theology and "cheem" arguments of Creation versus evolution. As Paul wrote to the Corinthians,

"And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony[a] of God. For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified."
- 1 Corinthians 2: 1-2

Back to the cross. Back to that single greatest moment in human history when God Himself sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross for the redemption of man in spite of man's terrible sin. Back to the realization that only the death of the Son of God would satisfy the wrath of God that had so far been stored up for sinful man.

Back to repentance, to the daily confession of Sin, realizing that the evidence of salvation is a changed life. Back to the realization that God deserves EVERYTHING that I have because of the price that was paid. Back to praying unceasingly and to the weeping over my sins and for those in my care.

What is my greatest fear as of now? That I may one day lose this fervor and desire for holiness and righteousness. Lord I pray that this may not be so.

For all Christians to Remember

Do nothing that you would not like God to see.
Say nothing that you would not like God to hear.
Write nothing that you would not like God to read.
Go no place where you would not like God to find you.
Read no book of which you would not like God to say, “Show it to Me.”
Never spend your time in such a way that you would not like to have God say, “What are you doing?”

-J.C. Ryle

Another Reminder

Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The LORD God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

Habakkuk 3: 17-19

The White Shirt's Burden

My current to-do list looks something like this.

26/1 Live Praise for Year 1s
2/2 Coy Games
Parents' letter for Year 1s
Presentation for Year 1s
Talk to YW and Jon Chan

And that is just the beginning :( I've still got the following things to think about:

1) **TA Camp Spiritual Blueprint**
2) TA Camp planning
3) *Year 4 Bible Study and Programme*
4) *Year 1 Bible Study and Programme*
5) Officer recruitment
6) Officer training
7) Year 1 Hike
8) Awards for Year 1 and 4
9) Running of Admin

With lectures beginning tomorrow, and despite the fact that I have specially arranged to take only 4 modules this semester, looking at this whole long list makes me feel tired already. Add in the problem with the number and type of officers we currently have and the general working culture in 12th Coy, depressed is probably too mild a word for what I'm feeling right now.

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Serving in the 12th is really becoming unbearable at times. The white shirt now often seems a burden too heavy to bear and a poisoned chalice for most people. It has become kind of a cycle really. Originally sparked off by an intensification of our programme, it resulted in a heavier workload for Officers, which leads to us having little time outside of BB to do our own stuff, which leads to people not wanting to volunteer because serving in the 12th literally means spending the best part of your Uni life or precious book out time doing BB stuff, which then leads to an even heavier workload for us, which leads us to.... I think you get the point.

So much to do, so many things to consider. What's the point of coming up with innovative, fun or meaningful programmes or ideas when they're usually scrapped or thrown out because the "higher-ups" deem it
a) too dangerous
b) too expensive
c) too "stressful" for the teachers or Boys (as though we are not stressed)
d) too ambitious
e) for "vain-glory" ( though I've seen things they approve of which I can most certainly say IS for vain-glory.)

Like who cares for the Boys anyway? The most important thing is to win awards right? "Render onto Caesar what is Caesar's"? Then we can enjoy our salary increments and bonuses, while getting praised for the "wonderful" job we're doing. Hang on, I don't recall getting any salary or bonus for spending an entire Saturday in ACS and the hours throughout the week planning the programmes.

Can someone tell me how not to be disillusioned when a CHRISTIAN Organization can declare that Christ comes first while blatantly, and in the same breath mind you, declare that trainings for AQ supersede Bible Studies since apparently getting those JM Fraser points is more important than the teaching of the Word of God.

Sick and Lost. Those are the words that come to me when I think of this organization. Where are we going? What are we doing here? The pursuit of accomplishments and accolades has blinded us to the spiritual wasteland all around. The politics has distracted us from the fact that Boys are passing through our hands and into Hell and we don't even give a damn. Oh that the Lord will have mercy on us when He calls us to account for our actions.

A New Year

Goodbye 2007, welcome 2008.

So many things to come, so many things to consider. Year 1s, Year 4s in BB, Honours or final sem in Uni. To work or not to work?

The one thing I would like Jesus to say to me. " Assuredly, I say to you, (today) you will be with Me in Paradise." - Luke 23:43

23 and feeling old

Another day, another year gone by. How time flies indeed. I say this not as a cliche but as a fact of life.

23 years..... who would have thought that it would come so soon. In the arrogance of youth, time seems to stretch into eternity. Classes in NYPS, ACS and ACJC never seemed to end early and tended to drag longer and longer. In 2003, 2 and 1/2 years of NS seemed like it would never end. But yet, it all has. All that had a beginning had an ending.

And so another ending is in sight. One more semester before I finish my bachelors degree. Should I do one more year? Should start working? Work where and in what? So many questions and permutations. Yet, if the Lord wills, I will serve Him in the best way that I can.

As the year-end approaches, I look back at the year that has past. What will the Lord say of it? So many things that I should or could have done. Looking at the year ahead, so many unknowns and paths to choose. I pray that I may walk the narrow and difficult path to salvation.

A Warm Day In Melbourne

Here I am in Melbourne and it's so warm. 2 weeks of eating lie ahead. :P