Thinking of the future (again)

I do not know why I so often turn my thoughts to the future and all its uncertainties. Maybe it is at this point in life that one is literally left at a loss at what to do and the future appears less clear and certain than what one is used to.

Growing up, it is indeed easy to become so singly focused, as I usually am, on what one has to do and on the next step in life. From NYPS to ACS, from ACS to ACJC, from ACJC to NS, from NS to NUS, the path is more or less clear and easily seen. However as one now turns his thoughts to the future, thoughts of work and family, thoughts of taking that first independent step into the unknown, one is literally overwhelmed with the amount of choices and uncertainties there are. Where the verse, "We walk by faith and not by sight" really takes on a whole new reality.

Things of course are not helped by the sheer number of weddings that I have had to attend and would probably be attending over the next few years. For a person who rarely feels an emotional attachment to anyone, to move in this direction is quite really a terrifying experience. Notwithstanding the issue of supporting such a relationship, the idea of entering a relationship is something that I can never quite really comprehend or imagine. Oh I have had my fair share of crushes and infatuations, but the weight of responsibility and expectation in a relationship is something that I have always shrunk from.

But in the words of the Lord God, "It is not good that the man should be alone" (Gen 2:18). One dreams of a companion and helper that the Lord will provide. Indeed if the Lord so wills, He will provide one who is a fellow slave of Christ, for no other criteria matters. Whether He chooses to bless me with singlehood or marriage, may His Name be praised amongst the nations.

All thanks be to God

Paul Washer on God's Will (Slaves of Christ)