The White Shirt's Burden

My current to-do list looks something like this.

26/1 Live Praise for Year 1s
2/2 Coy Games
Parents' letter for Year 1s
Presentation for Year 1s
Talk to YW and Jon Chan

And that is just the beginning :( I've still got the following things to think about:

1) **TA Camp Spiritual Blueprint**
2) TA Camp planning
3) *Year 4 Bible Study and Programme*
4) *Year 1 Bible Study and Programme*
5) Officer recruitment
6) Officer training
7) Year 1 Hike
8) Awards for Year 1 and 4
9) Running of Admin

With lectures beginning tomorrow, and despite the fact that I have specially arranged to take only 4 modules this semester, looking at this whole long list makes me feel tired already. Add in the problem with the number and type of officers we currently have and the general working culture in 12th Coy, depressed is probably too mild a word for what I'm feeling right now.

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Serving in the 12th is really becoming unbearable at times. The white shirt now often seems a burden too heavy to bear and a poisoned chalice for most people. It has become kind of a cycle really. Originally sparked off by an intensification of our programme, it resulted in a heavier workload for Officers, which leads to us having little time outside of BB to do our own stuff, which leads to people not wanting to volunteer because serving in the 12th literally means spending the best part of your Uni life or precious book out time doing BB stuff, which then leads to an even heavier workload for us, which leads us to.... I think you get the point.

So much to do, so many things to consider. What's the point of coming up with innovative, fun or meaningful programmes or ideas when they're usually scrapped or thrown out because the "higher-ups" deem it
a) too dangerous
b) too expensive
c) too "stressful" for the teachers or Boys (as though we are not stressed)
d) too ambitious
e) for "vain-glory" ( though I've seen things they approve of which I can most certainly say IS for vain-glory.)

Like who cares for the Boys anyway? The most important thing is to win awards right? "Render onto Caesar what is Caesar's"? Then we can enjoy our salary increments and bonuses, while getting praised for the "wonderful" job we're doing. Hang on, I don't recall getting any salary or bonus for spending an entire Saturday in ACS and the hours throughout the week planning the programmes.

Can someone tell me how not to be disillusioned when a CHRISTIAN Organization can declare that Christ comes first while blatantly, and in the same breath mind you, declare that trainings for AQ supersede Bible Studies since apparently getting those JM Fraser points is more important than the teaching of the Word of God.

Sick and Lost. Those are the words that come to me when I think of this organization. Where are we going? What are we doing here? The pursuit of accomplishments and accolades has blinded us to the spiritual wasteland all around. The politics has distracted us from the fact that Boys are passing through our hands and into Hell and we don't even give a damn. Oh that the Lord will have mercy on us when He calls us to account for our actions.