He Is Able

8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God,
9 who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began,
10 but has now been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who has abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel,
11 to which I was appointed a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of the Gentiles.
12 For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.

- 2 Timothy 1:8-12 (NKJV, bold emphasis mine)

"You know, I've been to more funerals than weddings." Was talking with Charles yesterday after visiting his namesake in NUH and that was the observation both of us arrived to. A day before, we went to a wake to visit a Year 4 BB Boy who had watched as his father died before his eyes. He was just 52 years old. A week ago a Year 3 BB Boy lost his father due to complications during a routine surgery.

What is your life but a vapour that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away (cf. James 4:14). I looked at all those young people eating and laughing near Bugis Junction as Charles and I were there having dessert after attending the wake on Tuesday. Do they know what is to come? Has Man so desensitized himself that he no longer ponders upon eternal things? I am convinced that if we truly see what is coming we'll swear off all partying and wild living, and fall down on our faces and weep for a dead and dying world. Every man knows that there will be a day of reckoning, that death is inevitable. But in his sin, he suppresses the truth and seeks to drug and entertain himself so as to forget this reality.

In that hospital room yesterday, I looked at his stuff carefully placed to one side of the room and I thought of all the things I have in this world, all those books, my computer, my earthly treasures. Naked I came from my mother's womb and naked do I return to Him. What good are all the riches and goods of this Earth to a man dying on a bed.

So should I then despair? If I were a lost, carnal man then I should very rightly despair, for I would be without any hope whatsoever. But in Christ have I made my deposit, and He is able and faithful to keep it to that Final Day. We do not grieve over death and suffering like those who have no hope, for Christ has abolished death through His own death and resurrection.

In His wisdom He has seen fit to show me so starkly the fragile mortality of humanity while I am still young in age. I fully believe it is good for young people to go for funerals, that they may see their future and be wise in all that they do.

Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

- Psalm 90:12

"Show me, O LORD, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.
Selah

Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

"But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.

- Psalm 39: 4-7

Just one life twill soon be past, and only what's done for Christ will last; And when I am dying how happy I'll be, that the lamp of my life has been burnt out for thee.

- Anonymous

I've been lookin' at the past
I've wasted too much time
On things that won't last
I've built a kingdom out of rubble and sand
But I don't, I don't want to hold on to it all
I'm ready for the river to run and wash it away

CHORUS
I'm singin'
Come sweet water
Cleanse my soul
Shower me
And make me whole
Consume me with healing flood
Leave no traces of the man that I was
Before the river came

There's no freedom in the chains
They hold you captive to the guilt of your stains
One drop of water brings
an ocean of change
And I long, I long to move on from it all
I'm ready for the river to run and wash it away
I'm singin'

Baptize and bury me
Until only You remain (come and rescue me)
I don't want to be the man that I was
Long before the river came
====================

Just as an aside, some would know how I have been thinking of doing theological studies in the near future. It is a complex and trying decision, fraught with much doubt and fear. What's my motivation? For what purpose do I seek such things? Am I smart/personal/capable/pastoral enough for such a high calling? Am I even called in the first place?

I must confess that I have not been burdened or praying enough for this, may the Lord forgive me my slothfullness. But as I was standing in that hospital room watching the doctor(s) prescribing remedies and medication for him, it struck me that doctors, for all their laudable and noble efforts, simply treat the symptoms of Man's Illness. For Man's Illness is primarily spiritual, not physical. As sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, so Man's physical death is but a symptom of the spiritual death within him.

Full time ministry is, I am convinced, the highest calling God can ever give a man while on this Earth. For while doctors may deal with temporal ills, and eventually every man will die, those who serve full-time are faced with eternity and eternal consequences everyday as they fight for the souls of men.

Oh Lord be gracious to me.