Strong in weakness & Mourning for those who have fallen

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

- 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Often I feel so inadequate for ministry. Often I attempt to rationalize my faith ( and fail miserably at it). Often I wonder why I do what I do when I'm probably the least "qualified" to do it. I guess Paul really summed it up when he said that he will all the more boast in his weakness so that Christ's power may rest on him. I realize that in terms of spiritual knowledge, dynamism and example I'm probably one of the worst performers.

I hesitate over preaching the word, I am uncertain over my spiritual authority, I do not do what I ought to do, but do instead what I ought not to do. But I guess it is in this weakness that I can only trust God to give me the Words to speak and the life to lead as an example to others. To delight in my weakness for I know that when I am weak, I can only but trust God to work in my life and that His grace is sufficient to cover all my sins.

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"For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged."

- 2 Corinthians 12: 20-21

Thinking over recent events in the Company, I wonder what would be Jesus's reaction if He would come back tomorrow. How grieved would He be to see those who call themselves Christians engage in quarrels, arrogance, sexual sin and impurity. As officers, how much more should we mourn and grieve for those Boys under us who have a form of Christianity, but without its power. Who take the name and sacrifice of the Son of God in vain and have made it a common thing. How much more as officers have we fallen short of the glory of God and taken the grace of God for granted in our lives.

How we need to, as Paul says, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves." ( 2 Corinthians 13:5) To constantly work out our salvation with fear and trembling and to treasure the price that was paid for our salvation.