One more week

One more week to LTC. If by tomorrow they still can't get their act together, then I may consider, in SAF lingo, "letting them *** **** ********."

Tired

I'm tired of planning programmes and parades.
I'm tired of sleepless nights thinking of ways to engage the Boys.
I'm tired of spending Saturdays and weekdays doing BB stuff.
I'm tired of worrying over Boys and how to keep them engaged and interested.
I'm tired of the culture in ACS.
I'm sick and tired of BB.

Not by might, Not by Power

But By The Spirit Of God

Year 3 Theme

LTC is fast approaching and there are so many things still unsettled, chief among them being the theme for the camp. The spiritual blueprint has been a yearly tradition for every Sec 3,4 and 5 BB Boy especially in this June period. Is it really the best practice for the Boys? Well that is not for a mere mortal as myself to speculate on heh.

For weeks now it has seemed that the themes for the Year 3 and Year 5s would start to converge, this being aided by the fact that the Year 3 theme is pretty much a blank slate even as of now. The 3 verses that the year 5s managed to pray about were 1 John 3:18, James 4:8 and Hebrews 10:22. While James 4:8 has been pretty much been confirmed as the theme for the Year 2/5 LDC camp, 1 John 3 has impressed me the most for the Year 3s.

"In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another,"

- 1 John 3:10-11

"Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."

- 1 John 3:15

As I read through this section, I was reminded again of the commandment that Jesus gave to his disciples, and to us, of loving one another. Not only that, but that by this act will it separate those children of God from the children of the devil. And verse 15 raises the bar even higher when even by just hating a brother will a person be condemned as a murderer.

"But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?"

- 1 John 3:17

In this day and age where people are increasing beginning to look out for themselves only, we are reminded once again that those who are blessed materially by God should give of their blessings to bless others. If not how then does the Love of God abide in him?

"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him."

- 1 John 18-19

Truly as we approach LTC, we so much more need to show Love through our actions and not by mere empty words. What the Year 3s need so much more now is to stand united under God through his Love and the love they have for each other. With more than 10 non-christians in the cohort alone, the need for repentance and a desire to reach out and help each other for the Christians is needed more than anything else now. I can only pray that God in His mercy will touch and convict the hearts of the Christians among the Year 3s to return to Him and to Love one another just as Jesus loved us and loved the unlovable.

Discovering the Meaning of being an Officer

These past two days were probably one of the best, if not the best official BB training that I have had since becoming an Officer in the 12th.

What does the BB Object mean? How do we infuse it into our programmes? What is the journey of a Boy and a Officer in BB? What are my strengths as a leader and in what areas do I need to improve? What can be done to improve the Company in ensuring that the BB vision and Object is fulfilled?

To move from a results-oriented Company to one that is concerned more with processes and to clearly define a way of recruiting and training Officers were some of the things that we felt that we needed to do to improve the 12th Company.

Ultimately, this workshop made us rethink and dream of new ways of raising Leaders for Christ. Now for us to take it back to ACS and thrive, not just survive.

Strong in weakness & Mourning for those who have fallen

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

- 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Often I feel so inadequate for ministry. Often I attempt to rationalize my faith ( and fail miserably at it). Often I wonder why I do what I do when I'm probably the least "qualified" to do it. I guess Paul really summed it up when he said that he will all the more boast in his weakness so that Christ's power may rest on him. I realize that in terms of spiritual knowledge, dynamism and example I'm probably one of the worst performers.

I hesitate over preaching the word, I am uncertain over my spiritual authority, I do not do what I ought to do, but do instead what I ought not to do. But I guess it is in this weakness that I can only trust God to give me the Words to speak and the life to lead as an example to others. To delight in my weakness for I know that when I am weak, I can only but trust God to work in my life and that His grace is sufficient to cover all my sins.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged."

- 2 Corinthians 12: 20-21

Thinking over recent events in the Company, I wonder what would be Jesus's reaction if He would come back tomorrow. How grieved would He be to see those who call themselves Christians engage in quarrels, arrogance, sexual sin and impurity. As officers, how much more should we mourn and grieve for those Boys under us who have a form of Christianity, but without its power. Who take the name and sacrifice of the Son of God in vain and have made it a common thing. How much more as officers have we fallen short of the glory of God and taken the grace of God for granted in our lives.

How we need to, as Paul says, "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves." ( 2 Corinthians 13:5) To constantly work out our salvation with fear and trembling and to treasure the price that was paid for our salvation.

Worried

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

- Matthew 6:33-34

I thought that once the exams were over I could finally get to enjoy my 3 month break from NUS. Who would have thought that in the week after the exams there would be so many things that would have cropped up, each bringing with it its own bag of problems.

I'm worried over my exam results. This semester was one of the lightest in terms of workload and projects, yet in all 3 of my chem modules I did not manage to finish the paper. And not just one or half a question, but equivalent to two questions.

I'm worried over the planning of the hike and LTC in June. I do not know whether it is because I'm so particular or downright picky with regards to planning stuff and all that, but somehow I just do not seem comfortable with the state of both the hike and LTC now.

I'm worried over the state of the Year 3s especially now in the run-up to LTC. I have supposedly 55 Year 3s on paper, but usually only about 28 to 35 turn up for parades and even those who turn up are not the same people on consecutive weeks. I have people missing a ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME camp to go for daily training or for school activities. And to think that these Boys are gonna be admin in 3 months time. Granted that there are those regular few who make it a point to come down and who show a semblance of competence. I guess it's still too early to make judgment on people's abilities now, but creating an admin from this year is gonna be one tough and long road.

Perhaps most importantly, I worry that I'm simply not cut out for this kind of volunteer work. My man-management skill sucks and my inspiration index is in the pits. Coupled with recent developments in the Company, sometimes I wonder whether I should really just take a step back and say "find someone else".

Can someone please tell me how not to worry? I pray that God will give me the faith to believe that all things are in His control.

Prayer of Jabez

"Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, “Because I bore him in pain.” And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested."

- 1 Chronicles 4:9-10

Oh that You would be with me and keep me from evil, that I may cause no pain.