The Casualness of Relationships

There is something that is increasingly disturbing to me even as I go through this current phase in life. You look at the culture of a place and sometimes you wonder, 'Can it be changed? Why do we put up with it in resignation and acceptance despite knowing that it is so deplorable and saddening? Have we been so influenced by the godless culture of this society that we simply lose the will to resist and accept it as an "unavoidable fact of life"?'

It was a most uncomfortable conversation in my spirit as we sat there talking. How can it be that such an important matter could be discussed so nonchalantly? Do we not consider it a serious thing? Should not our spirit recoil at the thought of it?

"They will have to go through it and experience it for themselves; you can't control a person's biology; They have the right to choose for themselves." Such are the commonest responses when one dares to broach the topic of Boy-Girl relationships (BGR) today, and more specifically, the educating, warning and restraining of such relationships among young people today."Live and learn" is the mantra for this issue of immense importance. But I remember Paul Washer roughly saying this once, "The Devil tells you to live and learn, the Bible tells you to learn and live." Is there not warrant and place for our young people to be warned and prepared for such an important issue?

It is really saddening to hear the number of "partners" people have gone through in their lives (and this even before the age of 30!). People hop from one partner to another with seemingly little regard for the damage it does to themselves and to others. Relationships exist for the "here-and-now" and little or no thought is given to oneself or the other's preparedness and maturity for such a relationship. Is it no wonder then that we see such BGRs breaking and forming at such an incredible rate? (And this even in church!)

Perhaps this is one of the reason that the Lord took me out for those ten to eleven years, lest in my weakness I should face such temptation and heart-break. Even today I can feel how prone I am in my flesh to fall into such temptations.

Some might say to me, "But you have never ever gotten into a BGR. You do not know what it is like and hence, are not qualified to talk and advise on such matters." That may be true, but I have never taken drugs before as well. Does that then disqualify me from warning people about it? (This is not to say that BGRs are in essence bad, but rather the casual approach to it.)

Have I been in such error? As I look back over this one year plus, I realize how often in my desperation and unbelief I myself have been committing the very same errors. How little thought have I given to God and His promptings. How little I have trusted in His faithfulness and providence (all the more unforgivable considering all the things He has brought me through in life). How seldom have I considered my own lack of maturity and preparedness to take up such a heavy responsibility. How rarely have I been found on my knees in prayer and supplication for a prudent wife, that the Lord alone provides? (cf. Prov 19:14)

Oh Learn and Live!

My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
guarding the paths of justice
and watching over the way of his saints.

- Proverbs 2: 1-8