I used to think I was a shy person. Actually I've come to realize that it is rather a case of not being a "personable" person rather than actual shyness. Maybe that's why I can never be close to anybody, because the closer you get to people, the more people see you for who you are and the more people will realize the rampant hypocrisy in your own life.

"Stained Glass Masquerade" - Casting Crowns.

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Post-Cambodia

It's been a couple of days since I've returned from Cambodia and have finally found some time to write some thoughts down.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul,"therefore I will hope in him."

- Lamentations 3: 22-23

It was in many ways better than expected. There were no real big disruptions or problems there and the Lord blessed us mightily with really excellent weather. How often do we despise such little mercies instead of praising God for them. While there may be some issues with the church, it is incredibly encouraging to see the progress of some of the leaders and villagers since I was last there.

Will our efforts have any eternal significance? Whatever is to come, one can be sure that Christ will build His Church.

Pre-Cambodia

Feeling really unprepared and adequate.

Really my own fault for getting so distracted.

May the Lord be gracious.