Struggling with Sin

"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

- Romans 7:14-20

A pretty apt verse for my current condition, or in fact, my condition for as long as I can remember.

Ever since I was young, going through ACS, BB, Boarding School, India, NS and now Uni, these 7 verses have always described my life. Ever since young I have been "cursed" by habitual sins and temptations that would not go away (those of you who know me should know what I'm talking about). In fact, I find more and more sin hiding in my life.

Despite the countless worship sessions, prayer meetings, (real?) cries of repentance. Despite all the experiences and events that have occurred, I am still overcome by my sinful nature. How long can this go on?

I do not do what is good, rather I do what is not good. How then am I worthy of teaching His word, the Word of the ALMIGHTY and HOLY God when my life is still wracked with sin and guilt. Who am I that I should tell others what to do when I cannot or would not even do it myself.

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Oh that He will forgive me for taking His sacrifice in vain over and over again.