Why, What & How

Parades are finally over and I can now (hopefully) concentrate on my studies which has taken a beating over the last couple of weeks. The Admin has settled down somewhat though there are still a few loose ends to settle and the Wing System as not really gotten into gear yet.

However as I was talking to Charles late into the night, plans for the next 8 months are already being formulated. Even when parades have officially ended for the exams, the planning (and worrying) for the future has already begun.

Company Potluck, SGB and Primers Programme were just a few of the things being bandied about during that 3 hour plus discussion. The direction of the Year 3 Admin was also another topic being keenly "debated", but ultimately the one topic that stood out was the discussion about the 12th Company "culture".

When should a Boy be punished? How should he be punished? What are the things we want a Boy to learn about leadership, responsibility or God? What is the best way to teach it? What is the Company's purpose and vision?

The questions being asked frankly left more questions than answers in the end. Some of them were beyond our "level" of authority, but ultimately I came to struggle at the "how" question.

How easy it is to answer the "Why" and "What" questions. Why teach the Boys? So that God may be glorified. What do we teach them? Principle and values like 'No Boy enters BB by chance', 'discipline not regimentation' or 'Christian Leadership is key.'

The question that I found hard to answer or come out with a solution ended up being the "how". Ironic considering that most of the time people do not see the big picture "why" and "what", but are more concerned or adept at the "how". However in this case, it was the "how" that baffled us.

How to teach discipline without punishment? How to ensure that Boys are taught about responsibility and the importance of punctuality without a certain amount of "regimentation"? Is there another way that Boys can be taught about obedience and self-discipline? Is giving push-ups bad or is it the process that one goes through before meting out punishment that determines whether the punishment is acceptable or not? How can the culture of 12th Company be changed such that for future generations, "pumping" will not be the first and last resort Officers will use to establish order or worse, take out their frustration on Boys?

Well we did not really come to any conclusion on the matter. So much to consider, so much to do.

Where are the Labourers?

I was going to write a long tirade about BB and about people who don't come back to help despite all that BB has given them, but I guess that wouldn't be too good to say out loud.

Maybe I'm just bitter when I think about what I could have done or could be doing now if I wasn't serving in ACS, especially now that I'm learning about Opportunity Cost and Diminishing Returns in my Econs Module.

Struggling with Sin

"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

- Romans 7:14-20

A pretty apt verse for my current condition, or in fact, my condition for as long as I can remember.

Ever since I was young, going through ACS, BB, Boarding School, India, NS and now Uni, these 7 verses have always described my life. Ever since young I have been "cursed" by habitual sins and temptations that would not go away (those of you who know me should know what I'm talking about). In fact, I find more and more sin hiding in my life.

Despite the countless worship sessions, prayer meetings, (real?) cries of repentance. Despite all the experiences and events that have occurred, I am still overcome by my sinful nature. How long can this go on?

I do not do what is good, rather I do what is not good. How then am I worthy of teaching His word, the Word of the ALMIGHTY and HOLY God when my life is still wracked with sin and guilt. Who am I that I should tell others what to do when I cannot or would not even do it myself.

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Oh that He will forgive me for taking His sacrifice in vain over and over again.

Clean Hands and a Pure Heart

"Who may ascend the hill of the LORD ?
Who may stand in his holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to an idol
or swear by what is false.

He will receive blessing from the LORD
and vindication from God his Savior."

- Psalm 24:3-5

Oh Lord is there mercy for me?

A New Beginning

So a new Admin has been installed and a new school year dawns once again. Somehow with 6 modules this Semester that I decided to take on impulse, it looks like I won't have much time during the week to check on the new admin.

Now that the Admin posts are settled, I can turn my attention to getting the Admin structure going. And that is the concern now with all the new procedures and projects that they need to do, it is gonna be hard trying to monitor all of them. Good thing I have Samuel to cover some things for me.

For all the worries regarding the new Admin, I can only but surrender it all to God and let him take control. My only prayer is that they will Love God and Love each other.

Pray, Pray, Pray

"O brother, pray; in spite of Satan, pray; spend hours in prayer; rather neglect friends than not pray; rather fast and lose breakfast, dinner, tea and supper --- and sleep too --- than not pray. And we must not talk about prayer, we must pray in right earnest. The Lord is near. He comes softly while the virgins slumber."

- Andrew A. Bonar

Oh Lord teach me how to travail and persevere in prayer.

For those who are persecuted

Praying for those who face persecution because of their faith in Christ.