Semper Fidelis

Chinese New Year is over, and everything was fine and dandy till I received a SMS from my ex-JC classmate.

One of my ex-classmates, or more specifically, my ex-class Representative just got admitted to hospital with leukemia. For those less medically inclined, basically it's cancer of the blood and it is NOT a good thing.

My first reaction to the SMS was like "sure or not?" How can someone who's 21-going-on-22 get cancer. Maybe it's some viral infection or the blood test got mixed up.

Went to see him today with some ex-classmates and the atmosphere in the ward was like so unnerving. Everyone like didnt know what to say. Sometimes we can't seem to accept things even when they're physically visible right in front of us.

Looking at him and seeing the worry etched on his family's faces, I begin to wonder "How can this happen? How could God allow this?" It's so easy to be unbothered by tragedy when they happen in a far away place; "It's God's will" we say. But when bad things strike closer to home, so easily do we become disillusioned with God. "Why me?" or "Why him?" we ask God. Do we question God's Will when events happen that we don't understand? What good could come out of this we ask ourselves?

When I think of my own mortality, I am overcome with trembling. Life and Death is seperated by a thin line. Am I saved? Am I redeemed? The inevitability of death frightens me. What happens on that 'final frontier'? What happens in eternity? Where will I go when I "pass on" from this world? So many questions, so few answers.