Three rules for a happy marriage

By J. C. Ryle

Of all relationships of life, none ought to be regarded
with such reverence, and none taken in hand so
cautiously as the relationship of husband and wife.

In no relationship is so much earthly happiness
to be found, if it be entered upon discreetly,
advisedly, and in the fear of God. In none is so
much misery seen to follow, if it be taken in hand
unadvisedly, lightly, wantonly, and without thought.

From no step in life does so much benefit come to
the soul, if people marry "in the Lord." From none
does the soul take so much harm, if fancy, passion,
or any mere worldly motive is the only cause which
produce the union.

There is, unhappily, only too much necessity
for impressing these truths upon people. It
is a mournful fact, that few steps in life are
generally taken with so much levity, self will,
and forgetfulness of God as marriage. Few are
the young couples who think of inviting Christ
to their wedding!

It is a mournful fact that unhappy marriages
are one great cause of the misery and sorrow
of which there is so much in the world. People
find out too late that they have made a mistake,
and go in bitterness all their days.

Happy are they, who in the matter
of marriage observe three rules:

The first is to marry only in the Lord, and
after prayer for God's approval and blessing.

The second is not to expect too much from their
partners, and to remember that marriage is, after
all, the union of two sinners, and not of two angels.

The third rule is to strive first and foremost
for one another's sanctification. The more holy
married people are, the happier they are.

Quotes

"There is an amazing ignorance of Scriptures among many, and a consequent want of established, solid religion. In no other way can I account for the ease with which people are, like children, "tossed to and fro, and carried about by every wind of doctrine." ( Ephesians 4:14.) There is an Athenian love of novelty abroad, and a morbid distaste for anything old and regular, and in the beaten path of our forefathers. Thousands will crowd to hear a new voice and a new doctrine, without considering for a moment whether what they hear is true.--There is an incessant craving after any teaching which is sensational, and exciting, and rousing to the feelings.--There is an unhealthy appetite for a sort of spasmodic and hysterical Christianity. The religious life of many is little better then spiritual dram-drinking, and the "meek and quiet spirit" which St. Peter commends is clean forgotten. ( 1 Peter 3:4.) Crowds, and crying, and hot rooms, and high-flown singing, and an incessant rousing of the emotions, are the only things which many care for.--Inability to distinguish differences in doctrine is spreading far and wide, and so long as the preacher is "clever" and "earnest," hundreds seem to think it must be all right, and call you dreadfully "narrow and uncharitable" if you hint that he is unsound! Moody and Hawies, Dean Stanley and Canon Liddon, Mackonochie and Pearsill Smith, all seem to be alike in the eyes of such people. All this is sad, very sad. But if, in addition to this, the true-hearted advocates of increased holiness are going to fall out by the way and misunderstand one another, it will be sadder still. We shall indeed be in evil plight."

- J. C. Ryle (1816 - 1900)

It's All About Christ

"The times of ignorance God overlooked, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent, because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead."

- Acts 17: 30-31

I ask you this day, —"What think ye of Christ?"

What others think about Him is not the question now. Their mistakes are no excuse for you.—Their correct views will not save your soul. The point you have before you is simply this,—"What do you think yourself?"

- J. C. Ryle

A Constant Reminder

Do nothing that you would not like God to see.
Say nothing, you would not like God to hear.
Write nothing, you would not like God to read.
Go no place where you would not like God to find you.
Read no book of which you would not like God to say, "Show it to Me."
Never spend your time in such a way that you would not like to have God say, "What are you doing?"

- J. C. Ryle

1 O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.

19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain!
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

- Psalm 139

Where can I go oh Lord and you are not already there?
Where can I hide and you will not find me?
All my deepest thoughts and plans are as an open book before You,
All my days You have already foreseen.

Surely the Lord is good and merciful beyond measure,
and His ways higher than my ways.
Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Who has given Him counsel?

That my heart may be pure in Your sight,
And my will in line with Your's.
"Grant what thou commandest,
And command what thou wilt."

Keep me from hypocrisy.

Ryle on Friends (and Marriage :P)

I couldn't resist posting this (from J. C. Ryle's Thoughts for Young Men).

I dwell upon this point, because it has more to do with your prospects in life than first appears. If you ever marry, it is more than probable you will choose a wife from among your circle of friends or their acquaintances. If Jehoshaphat's son Jehoram had not formed a friendship with Ahab's family, he would most likely not have married Ahab's daughter. And who can estimate the importance of a right choice in marriage? It is a step which, according, to the old saying, "either makes a man or ruins him." Your happiness in both lives may depend on it. Your wife must either help your soul or harm it. She will either fan the flame of Christianity in your heart, or throw cold water upon it, and make it burn low. She will either be, wings or handcuffs, an encouragement or an hindrance to your Christianity, according to her character. He that finds a good wife does indeed "finds a good thing;" so if you have the desire to find one, be very careful how you choose your friends.

Do you ask me what kind of friends you should choose? Choose friends who will benefit your soul, friends whom you can really respect, friends whom you would like to have near you on your deathbed, friends who love the Bible, and are not afraid to speak to you about it, friends that you would not be ashamed of having at the coming of Christ, and the day of judgment. Follow the example that David sets for you: he says, "I am a friend to all who fear you, to all who follow your precepts" (Psalm 119:63). Remember the words of Solomon: "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20). But depend on it, bad company in this life, is the sure way to procure worse company in the life to come.

- J. C. Ryle

The Idolatory of Entertainment

"America has a king and his name is Sport. He has a wife and her name is Entertainment!"

Because there isn't enough real joy in the house of God, we need entertainment. Entertainment is the devil's substitute for joy. Because there isn't enough power in the house of God, people are always looking for something to take its place.

- Leonard Ravenhill

I am in many ways an avid gamer, always on the lookout for the latest in PC games and hardware upgrades. Recently I had, for the first time, manually installed additional hardware into my computer on my own. Needless to say, it was a trying experience just having to figure out how to open up the casing. I also follow the latest football news and often troll through various football related sites throughout the day in order to get that latest piece of news or results.

And it has struck me how obsessed I can become with them.

I still remember clearly this incident months ago. It was about 11.30pm and I was just about to quit procrastinating and actually get down to doing my devotions. As a sort of last gesture, I just skimmed through a football news site and the thing that caught my eye was the game currently being played. It was Arsenal versus Manchester United with the score at 2-0 in Arsenal's favour. Being somewhat an Arsenal supporter (with a strong dislike for the other team) and seeking to justify my procrastination I reasoned, 'surely just watching the last twenty or so minutes won't be that bad.'

I turned on the television just in time to see Man Utd pull one goal back with fifteen minutes left to play. The final few moments were nerve-wracking as Arsenal fought valiantly to protect their lead. When the final whistle sounded I remembered I was literally trembling with excitement over what I had just seen. And as the adrenaline wore off, a crushing reality struck me. You get so excited over a small insignificant football game while fellowship with the Awesome God hardly interests you?

I also have many PC games scattered throughout my room, legacy to a buying spree that has spanned more than a decade. Games ranging from those simple city-building sims to the graphic-intensive monsters of today's strategy games. With improvements in graphics comes the need for improvements in graphics hardware. If there is one thing that I do splurge on, it would be on much computer hardware. With any decent graphics card today costing upwards of $300 at the least, any proper upgrade is sure to cost an arm and a leg. One thing I have come to realize over the years however, is that no matter how good or addictive a game is, sooner or later you will get bored with it. The same goes with any toy Man may conceive. Soon the urge to get the latest games in order to keep oneself entertained would spur one to buy whatever is being offered on the market, or if one is less financially endowed, rotate the games that one already has in order to find that thrill again. I found that whatever "joy" I had in any game soon began to turn stale in my mouth. It could not satisfy me forever.

Is it any wonder that idolatry is as rampant today as it was in days of old when men bowed before images of trees and animals? (Come to think of it, they still do so today.) Now men bow and worship gods of steel and leather, of electronic components and balls that roll and bounce. People support and participate in sports events more zealously than any religious service. It has always struck me how men can stand, lift up their hands, worship and sing praises with such gusto to eleven men kicking a ball around a field and yet the worship of an Almighty God can remain so cold. The same men who would speak excitedly and ecstatically of sports, would remain indifferent or dismissive to any subject which is of eternal value. Oh what hypocrisy we live in today. Is it not truly madness? Can such an attitude truly be the reflection of a regenerated heart?

Now I am in no way opposed to sports or computers per se, but the fact still remains. There is no lasting joy in any temporal thing. Games come and go. Hardly have they reached the store shelves when another, better, one takes its place. Sporting "greats" remain but for a little time before they are eclipsed by the "next big thing". True Joy and Satisfaction is found only in the One for whom we were made for, to delight in. For God does not have a man-shaped hole in His heart, as so much contemporary teaching makes Him out to be, but Man does have a God-shaped hole in his heart. That infinite hole which can only be satisfied with that which is infinite.

And is that not such a struggle. Man has been conditioned for so long in his fallen nature to live apart from God that he does not seek to find fulfillment and joy in the only Person who can provide it. No, but because Man are by nature enemies of God and haters of Him, they seek other ways and means of satisfying themselves. They would rather kill themselves in an endless and hopeless search for joy and satisfaction rather than bow the knee before the One who provides it, and unless the Lord so acts to remove their blindness, no man will turn to Him.

But praise be to Him, who in His unsearchable Wisdom and Love, has restored the sight of His elect. That they may not be satisfied by what the World has to offer, but have clung to the Cross, "by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." (Gal. 6:14)

How wide, how high, how long, how deep is the Love of Christ? Gaze upon the wondrous Cross and be satisfied.

"Remember, again, if you cling to earthly pleasures, they will all be unsatisfying, empty, and pointless. Like the locusts of the vision in Revelation, they seem to have crowns on their heads: but like the same locusts, you will find they have stings--real stings--in their tails. All that glitters is not gold. All that tastes sweet is not good. All that pleases for a while is not real pleasure.

Go and take your fill of earthly pleasures if you will--you will never find your heart satisfied with them. There will always be a voice within, crying, like the leech in Proverbs 30:15, "Give! Give!" There is an empty place there, which nothing but God can fill. You will find, as Solomon did by experience, that earthly pleasures are but a meaningless show--promising contentment but bringing a dissatisfaction of spirit--gold plated caskets, exquisite to look at on the outside, but full of ashes and corruption within. Be wise in your youth. Write the word "poison" on all earthly pleasures. The most lawful of them must be used in moderation. All of them are soul- destroying if you give them your heart. Pleasure, must first have the guarantee that it is not sinful--then it is to be enjoyed in moderation."

- J. C. Ryle

Quote of the Day

While some are satisfied with a miserably low degree of attainment, and others are not ashamed to live on without any holiness at all—content with a mere round of churchgoing and chapel-going, but never getting on, like a horse in a mill—let us stand fast in the old paths, follow after eminent holiness ourselves, and recommend it boldly to others.

- J.C. Ryle
1816 - 1900

HT: DefCon

Exams are here again

Well I guess it is time for me to actually sit down and study properly for the exams. I hypothesize that the amount of time spent studying for an exam is inversely proportional to the time spent in Uni.

P.S. I must praise God for giving me decent marks for History module CA though I really did not have the "form" that I had with previous history modules.

P.P.S. A must read tract by J. C. Ryle, especially in view of the coming Christmas Day. "What Think Ye of Christ?"

For all Christians to Remember

Do nothing that you would not like God to see.
Say nothing that you would not like God to hear.
Write nothing that you would not like God to read.
Go no place where you would not like God to find you.
Read no book of which you would not like God to say, “Show it to Me.”
Never spend your time in such a way that you would not like to have God say, “What are you doing?”

-J.C. Ryle